Life throws us curveballs constantly, and there is just no way we can anticipate everything or prepare for all eventualities. Stress is an automatic reaction in our body, but we can control how much and for how long we stress. Yes, the choice is yours!
Why do we get stressed?
Stress is our response to the external demands or expectations placed on us to achieve a certain outcome or perform a specific task that we feel has exceeded our ability to cope. It is often situational and can come from deadlines, competition, or the expectations of others. It can also be our response to internal demands or expectations we have on ourselves, where we feel we have exceeded our ability to cope.
Put another way, stress can be triggered by external factors (e.g., work deadlines, financial issues) and internal factors (e.g., self-imposed expectations, worry, or fear) but how much we stress depends on how we perceive and react to these factors. The stress response varies depending on our coping mechanisms, resilience, support systems, and the perception of our ability to handle a situation. For this reason, two people can experience the same situation differently in terms of stress levels.
Our emotions trigger stress
We know that at its core, stress is activated by fear. Your thoughts are linked to emotions, and this causes the emotional response triggered by a stressor. Your brain is designed primarily to keep you alive, so when you feel threatened in any way, whether real or perceived, your brain goes into survival mode, which is the stress response in the body. If the threat is neutralized or eliminated, the survival or stress response calms down and balance is restored.
Other fear-based emotions also cause the stress response in our bodies. These include hate, worry, anxiety, anger, resentment, frustration, impatience and irritation. Our emotions result in attitudes. An attitude is a state of mind that causes a reaction in the body (an electrochemical reaction) and a resultant behavior. Fear-based emotions cause negative or toxic attitudes which cause toxic responses in the body, or stress. When the stress becomes chronic, it becomes toxic to our bodies.
Research shows that fear alone triggers more than 1400 physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones and neurotransmitters. Imagine what's going on in your body when you add anger, anxiety, resentment, and irritation to that mix! So if thoughts, emotions, and attitudes have such an impact on our bodies, then surely we need to change how we think, since we are the only ones who can control our thoughts. We can choose what we think, and when.
How do we manage stress?
If the choice to stress is ours then we determine how stressed we get. It's all about perception and our self-imposed expectations. Accept that you can't control everything. The only thing you can control is your response. Accept that you can't control the weather, politics, the economic climate, traffic, the past, or the future. Accept that you can't control how others think or act, you can only control how you think and act. Accept that perfection doesn't exist, that your best is good enough, and that the more you fight against reality, what is, the more you are likely to suffer and experience pain.
Tell your inner critic to be quiet!
You don't always have to win.
Grow older gracefully.
Live in the present.
Make the most of the opportunities you have now.
Apologize when you mess up.
People will come and they will go. Love them. Value them. Hug them. Appreciate them while you still can.
Life is chaotic, random, and disorganized. Find peace in the chaos.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
You are not your thoughts, you can choose which thoughts can stay and which thoughts must go.
You have permission to stress less. Allow good stress when you need it. Use it to your advantage. Learn how to manage stress by changing how you think, what you think about, and for how long. Love more, laugh as much and as long as possible, enjoy nature, exercise, and healthy food. Be thankful and practice gratitude. Keep learning, sleep more, and do something for the first time...
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